John's Celebration April 10, 2010: In Chris's Words

In Chris’s Words (April 12, 2010, New Canaan Library)


I am Chris Randolph, John’s daughter. I want to welcome all of you here today on behalf of my family. I know my dad would be very pleased to have you all here. He always called the library his second home so it is very fitting that we meet here in this room where the book sale has been held for so many years. My dad loved the library. My mother used to say that when she asked him to help her with chores at home he would basically say “later Ruth” and head out for the library. I want to thank the library and the staff for being such a warm and caring community for my dad and for lending us this room for today’s celebration. We feel honored to be here today to remember him.

For those of you who don’t know, my dad fell in late February. He had seizures in his arms and had blood in his brain. He spent 10 days at Norwalk Hospital and died of general organ failure. His heart was down to 20% of its capability and he was very weak. Fortunately, my brother Reed was able to get here in time from Arizona and my mother Ruth visited the hospital. I also had the unlikely good fortune to be able to bring my dad’s cat Tosca to the hospital. She totally knew she was on a mission of love and lay in the hospital bed with him for several hours. I put her tail in his hand and he knew she was there. My dad was not in pain and we followed his wishes that he not be kept alive artificially.

In the last 10 years, instead of moving out of their home, my parents made the wise choice of staying in their house in spite of their frail conditions. For the last year or two, they had the most incredible group of home care workers watching out over them: Laly, Kate, Soila, Norma, Andrea, and Patty. These women are angels and they were and continue to be unconditionally loving and kind. We are so happy that my dad had the joy of new friendships and tender care. Even though it took some convincing, my parents finally joined Staying Put in New Canaan, an organization that helps keep the elderly in their homes, and it was one of their wisest choices. Donna and Jane are the most amazing support system I could ever have wanted for my parents and I thank them from the bottom of my heart on behalf of my dad.

I think I am right in saying that my dad had a wonderful run in retirement. It lasted almost 20 years and he spent it exactly the way he wanted to. He made weekly visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which he loved dearly. He enjoyed chopping wood and transplanting small saplings and did this right up to the end. Until his eyesight deteriorated, he was a huge reader, read an enormous amount about Islamic art and culture and history in general, as well as authors as diverse as Isabel Allende, Jorge Amado, Willa Cather, Edna O’Brien, and B. Traven. And he was always at the library volunteering his time with the book sales until the very end. I would have to say that the NC Library played a huge role in keeping my dad alive and happy.

My dad was a wonderful friend and mentor. We shared a love of art and a love of books and the excitement of entering new worlds on the page. Most of who I am today I inherited from my dad: my artistic sensibility, my facility for language and writing, my green thumb, and my convictions about freedom, justice, and human rights.

In the last 10 years of his life, my husband Khader and I spent a lot of time with my dad. We went to museums together and dropped by many of the Book Sales here. My dad was always caring and supportive toward us. He cheered us on in all of our entrepreneurial endeavors and enjoyed hearing tales of our travels and adventures. He was always honest and generous, positive and kind-hearted. In spite of his frailty and serious loss of vision, my dad was an amazingly good sport and a model of selflessness and courage.

At his job at Polychrome, he was known as the company cynic. A colleague wrote him: “the role of cynic is one you have rightfully earned. Being the voice of discontent is a responsibility you carry for all Polychrome employees and customers. How else can unhappiness or mistreatment be identified and eliminated if we are all silent?”

And then there was my dad’s sense of humor. It often made me roll my eyes but it was a unique part of his character. He was honored by such groups as the Devil’s Advocate Society and Bow Tie Wearers United. In the town of Yonkers he was wanted for bad puns, verbal abuse, excessive use of hyphens, impersonating Abraham Lincoln, raiding candy jars, disturbing the peace with raucous laughter, and matching striped bowties with checkered shirts.